What's Really Going on in a Middle Schoolers Mind?

I'm sure most people would agree that Middle School is not easy. Although some have a good time, many kids are beginning to discover who they are, what they want to do, and who they want to become. To begin, I'm going to discuss 4 thin I wasn't shocked to hear about the role of peers. Socialization begins from the minute we are born and continues until the day we die. Before children enter the school system, they are mostly socialized by their families or caregivers. However, once they enter the school system socialization by peers increases. Students have different perspectives, and every child is unique in their own way. Consequently, it is unavoidable to have students with different beliefs, morals, behaviors, thoughts, and actions.

Since middle school is a time of an array of social, physical, and cognitive changes, students can begin to have identity crisis's and feel like they don't fit in. Being out casted in middle school is horrible, and it can lead to very low self esteem. In my opinion, the need for children to "fit in" is more apparent in middle school then any other grade level. For males, popularity may be associated with athleticism, verbal and physical fighting skills, humor, and willingness to be "daring." For girls, it's mostly based on appearance: how much makeup you wear, where you get your clothes from, how skinny you are, etc. This in itself is a huge issue. As previously mentioned, every child is different; they all have unique character traits. Not every boy is going to be athletic and funny, and not every girl is going to be skinny and "pretty." Because they are so impulsive and emotional, they may try to change themselves to fit in. A boy may join the basketball team even though he hates it simply to be cool, while a girl may steal money from her parents to make sure she has the best makeup. This can lead to issues within, at school, and at home.

As some students begin to be introduced to drugs and alcohol, smoking, vaping and drinking can become "cool," resulting in many children trying it simply to fit in. By middle school, most children have been told that drugs are bad. However, the need to fit in and be cool can be overwhelming. In the article "Decoding The Teenage Brain," Merrill states that, "Adolescent rodents and adolescent humans are susceptible to peer pressure—and members of both species take risks at much higher rates when in the presence of companions their own age." If you don't want to take her word for it, there's plenty of research to back it up. The research suggests that when peers are alone, they are less inclined to make impulsive and reckless decisions. In fact, their responses were similar to adults. However, when they were asked to respond with peers, they were 3 times more likely to make reckless and impulsive decisions. Clearly, the presence of peers can make some bad decisions seem pretty tempting; the pressure to fit in often overrides the students ability to do what they know is right. We need to make sure that our students know how important it is to think before they act, and that their actions can have real consequences. However, the students will not take it seriously unless they trust you and know you care about them.

Another thing that aligned with my thinking was the section about moral development. I know this to be true from my own experiences. When I was in middle school, I began to see my thoughts and actions as more complex then simply "good or bad." I began to think about what I defined as right and wrong. Although I was becoming more independent, I was still heavily influenced by my parents, as I think most children are. I grew up with amazing parents; I had a great home life. But not every student does, and we need to remember this and allow ourselves to be empathetic. It could be easy to hate the child that brought weed to school to share with his friends, but maybe his parents sell drugs and in his mind smoking is fine. Of course this child still needs to be addressed and punished, but we must also offer them the support they need. We need to sit down with them and have a conversation. We need to ask them where they got the weed, why they think it's okay to smoke, and what made them want to bring it to school. Instead of simply suspending them, we need to reach out and get them the help they need to see the negative consequences of their actions.

I was also not shocked to read about how middle schoolers are more prone to have low self esteem. In a video about the the adolescents brain," we learned about some common perceptions people have of teenagers. Many people often see teenagers as loosing their mind, immature, and hormonal. While some of these may be true, they cause us to have a negative connotation of teens. As a society, we tend to focus on the negative instead of the positive. This can not only lead to mistreatment from adults, but it can also have an effect on their own self esteem. If you are constantly being told you're impulsive and reckless, you'll likely be that way. Because if every one expects me to be crazy I might as well be, right? As I mentioned earlier, we need to praise our students for their strength's so that they're not so focused on their weaknesses. The major things that help a middle school student determine their self worth are the amount of perceived control over circumstances, the degree to which they are accepted by those who they desire acceptance, a need to be competent in what they attempt and wish to accomplish, and a sense of being virtuous to others. The issue with these things is that they're all out of their control. This may lead adolescents to make bad decisions because at least they got to make that decision themselves. It is important as teachers that we remind students that self esteem and self worth should come from within. It should come from how YOU feel about yourself, not your teachers or friends or parents. Another way we can encourage this is by allowing our students to give us feedback on things they like and dislike in the classroom, and actually listening to their concerns and making changes.

It's not surprising that students project their own insecurities on others, leading to many issues with bullying. They have such intense feelings and emotions that they don't know what to do with it. It's always easy to take the victims side instead of the bullies, and I'm not saying we shouldn't. However, the bully is likely struggling themselves and dealing with crippling low self esteem. They think that if they can make someone else feel bad, they'll feel better. We need to not only respond to the victim, but also the bully. In elementary school, kids don't care about their bodies as much. They'll run outside playing all day, come in dripping in sweat, smelling horrible, and still give their friend a big hug without a care in the world. Sadly, it's not that simple for teenagers. Because of all the physical changes, teens start to hate their bodies. What makes it even worse is that it feels like everyone else hates their bodies too. Teens will often be criticized for not being skinny enough, tall enough, or pretty enough. This deep rooted self hatred of your own body can lead teens down some really bad paths. I knew so many girls in middle school that would starve themselves, and I was one of them. Because I hit puberty before my friends, I gained some weight and developed a bigger chest. I also towered over everyone; I was 5'9 in 7th grade. No boys liked me, which made me hate myself even more. So many middle school girls start hating their bodies after puberty, and the sad thing is, those feelings don't just disappear when they grow up. My self esteem was so low in middle school, and it still is to this day. I became so obsessed with seeking validation to make me feel worthy, and I still do that today in many aspects of my life.

Now that I've addressed some of the things that aligned with my beliefs, I'm going to take some time to talk about the stuff that was more unfamiliar to me. Although I related to some aspects of the sexual identity section, there were some things that surprised me. I was shocked to read that there is research that suggests that sexual orientation originates in the brain and that genetics may play a role. I believe that everyone deserves the right to choose who they want to be and who they want to love without any backlash. I support the LGBTQ community whole-heartedly, but I cannot relate to them. Reading this section helped me remember to be empathetic to those who are struggling with their sexuality, because it is not easy. Middle schoolers already feel so out of place, and realizing you may be homosexual would not be easy. Additionally, bonding with peers in middle school has a lot to do with heterosexuality. What I mean by this is that middle school girls are boy crazy. They often bond over who has a crush on who, who's boyfriend is the hottest, and who's gone the "furthest" with their crush. For a girl who is not attracted to boys, this can be very uncomfortable and isolating. As I discussed earlier, teens have a need to fit in, and they will do just about anything to make sure they do. If a girl knows she's attracted to girls, yet still has a boyfriend to fit in, this can be not only hard, but traumatic. It can lead to even lower self esteem, and an even bigger identity crisis. I would like to believe that times have changed, and I do think they have to extent. But there are still people out there who are homophobic. I feel like from my own observations, boys are even more bullied for their sexuality. Boys may accuse their friend who is gay of flirting with them or being into them. My friend is gay and he said that in once people suspected something, no boys wanted to be friends with him. This hurt him a lot since he had previously had a lot of male friends that no longer wanted anything to do with him.

Another thing I hadn't really thought about was the language barriers that are present in so many middle schools. One thing I learned in an ESL class is that many middle and high schools are not properly equipped to help ESL students. One of the chapters I read talked about some of the challenges older students face when learning a language. These included: the fact that the content is much more complex, secondary schools are often ill equipped to help these students, students struggle to learn academic language, tests are often nearly impossible to complete due to the level of comprehension needed, and the home environment can play a huge role. Learning a language is hard at any age, but young children's brains are built to learn language. Think about it like this: If you listen to a song over and over, weather you like it or not, you're going to learn the rhythm/lyrics. However, you may sit down and study for hours on end to pass a test, and still end up failing. Why is this? When young children learn, they are doing it subconsciously. It's like they're learning, but they don't even know it. It is easier for our brains to learn when we're doing it subconsciously. This is one of the reasons that it's much easier for children to learn a new language than adults. Teaching young adolescents who are ELL requires sensitivity to their culture, language, and struggle for identity. This is true on so many levels. No matter how bad you want someone to learn, no matter how bad you want them to succeed, it won't happen unless they want it to. If we let our students know that we care about their culture and identity, they will be much more open to working with us. Additionally, we need to be willing to put in extra time and effort to help ELL students succeed. If middle schools are not well equipped, then that just means our job will be a little harder. But every student is worthy of our time, and we cannot disregard someone simply because there's a language barrier. Think about how hard middle school is for an English speaking student is, now imagine how imaginably difficult it would be for an ESL student. If anyone is worthy of extra time and effort, it's them.

The final thing I learned about from this weeks reading was from the youtube video "Teenage Brains: Wired to Learn." Of course I knew that there are many positive things about teenagers, but I was unaware of how their brains are literally wired to learn from experiences. In the video I learned about parts of the brain I had no previous knowledge on. I learned that in teenagers brains, the striatum, which is the part of the brain responsible for seeking rewards, connects directly with the hippocampus, which helps us store memories. This is super fascinating, and has helped me draw a couple conclusions. First off, we know that teenagers are impulsive and make a lot of risky decisions. And regardless of all the warning and advice we give them, odds are they will still make some bad decisions. But after learning about how their brains work, this may not be bad thing. If a middle schooler decides to drink alcohol, they may drink too much and get very sick, or they may get caught by their parents. They will be able to see the negative consequences that came from this experience, and in the future they may think twice before making a risky choice. As much as we don't want teenagers to make bad decisions, it's part of growing up and learning.

After all the readings this week, I know a lot more about middle schoolers. However, there are still a couple questions circling through my head. To start, I'm still torn on how to react when student makes a very bad decision at school. When is punishment necessary? Another thing I'm wondering is if there's currently room in the curriculum to teach students about their bodies and all the changes they're going through. I think that this information is just as important for students to know, not just teachers. Finally, I'm also wondering more about the impact technology has on students in our current society. Are we educating students on the dangers of the internet? Are we letting them know how addictive social media can really be?